There was a rapist in our remote neighborhood a few years ago. He was never caught. In a few minutes, after arriving home alone the other night, I was gripped by fear. It was dark. I changed into my pjs and pink-lamb printed robe. Crunch, crunch. Heavy footsteps on the unshoveled, ice-coated front stairs. Who could that be? I was on the phone with a friend and together we both began to panic. The doorbell rang. Then it grew quiet. The door bell rang again, followed by more crunching snow. Would the person try to look in through one of our undraped country-home windows? New fear gripped me. My breathing quickened and my heart raced.

This morning I read, "There is no fear in love, but perfect love drives out fear. The one who fears is not made perfect in love." For all the wonderful experiences I have had in the Presence of the Lord, surrounded by His Glory and enraptured by His love, in one "crunch" I responded with fear, not faith. The Father's perfect love for me, and any revelation of His love I know I have, was not what I leaned on that night.

There is an old tendency in me that likes to dictate condemnation and shame when I come up short in the faith area. But, self-condemnation is one "monster in the night" I refuse to bow my knee to any more! Instead, I am praying about my reaction to what turned out to be a false alarm. An innocent man showed up for a Personal Freedom Prayer appointment. We had forgotten about this appointment, and Randy had gone on a men's retreat. The poor man even had to explain to the police what he was doing at our home. Yes, I did everything fear dictated me to do: I shut all the lights, stumbled about in the dark, and called for natural rather than supernatural help! In all of this I have learned a couple of things that might also be helpful to you:

1. There is a level of the Father's love that I have yet to experience - a place where I let His completely perfect love drive out ALL of my fears.

2. Panic always behaves irrationally. Why didn't I just say, "who's there?"

3. Magnifying "aloneness", rather than the Presence of the Lord and His angels, was and is always a big mistake!

So, today I am reflecting, repenting, and refueling. I am rereading the first Epistle of John. It records over and over again the power of God's love and the call for me to trust in His love! I am His child after all, and so are you!

There are lots of world events on the horizon that could cause us to panic and to live in fear. As for me, I want the "panic button" removed and destroyed. I am also determined to know the love of God and to live in His peace which surpasses all we can understand with our mind and senses! How about you?

Let's Pray

"Father, I open my heart and mind to receive a more full revelation of Your love for me that will drive out, expel, annihilate all my fears! You said that the one who fears is not made perfect in love. I repent for all the times I let fear, rather than faith and love, dictate my responses. And, I pray for the grace to experience Your love at a deeper level! Please fill me and surround me with Your love so that fear has no place! I pray this in Jesus' Name. Amen"